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This groom is getting involved

Dear Etiquette 101,

What do I tell my mother, aunts and grandmother who all insist that my fiance butt out of the wedding planning? It's our day, not my day, and he is just as interested as I am in planning a ceremony and reception that suit our personalities. They just don't understand when I say that I need to consult him before making major decisions, and are horrified that he has opinions.

Signed, Becky M.

Dear Becky,

I am incredibly impressed by your wonderful attitude. Of course your groom is just as interested in your wedding, and should have a say!

Is it possible to consult your groom before you discuss plans with your mother? If the two of you have a good game plan ahead of time, you can agree or disagree knowing that you're acting on his behalf.

Avoid the back-and-forth, "I need to ask fiance before I decide that," by proactively making decisions. If backed into a corner about something you haven't discussed, state that their ideas are interesting and you'll look into them.

Master the non-committal answer, so the two of you can have a wedding that suits your personalities without distressing your female relatives any further.

Best wishes, Local-I-Dos